I don't wanna grow up.

[This was written the summer of 2009 but the concept still applies]
   When I was younger I had a routine; every night from when I was two up until I was thirteen or so I made sure my closet door was sealed tightly and a light was on in or around my room. There were monsters in my room. Especially in my closet, you know the type of monsters that only a young child’s overactive imagination can create? The kind of monsters that hide in every single dark crevice of your room, the kind of monsters that would only be defeated by a bright light or my dad.
     These monsters have packed themselves away into my memories and have been replaced with new kinds of monsters. I have progressed a lot since my night light days. Especially in the past year or so, a lot of things have happened that make me the person I am today. This year I have met some amazing [And some not so amazing] people, I have read Lord of the Flies thirteen times, I have fallen in love, I have gotten my heart broken and repaired. I have gotten into HUGE fights with my parents and I have become best friends with my older sister. I have gained a few really great friends [Hopefully you know who you are<3] and I have lost touch with some others. I have had so many experiences in this past year that I can’t even fathom explaining them all. I’m not the same person I used to be like I feel more mature and rational now and to be quite honest it kind of trips me the fuck out. I’m a teenager I am not supposed to understand what it feels like to be hurt or whatever but I do and so do a lot of others. I’ve learned from my experiences though and it’s the whole learning from the situations that makes me take a step back and over analyze my life. It’s like I went through every single little experience for a reason. The good experiences and the bad experiences they all taught me something, Hell even the experiences I cant really remember effected me in some way. The real point to all of this I’m glad I’ve grown up and learned to be more mature and relaxed about things…

But sometimes I wish I could just go back to having those monsters in my closet.

Hello Newton

At this very second as you're reading this someone is dying but at the same time someone is being born some one is getting out of jail,some one is going into jail. Some one is having the best day of their life another the worst.

I suppose what I'm saying is that everything in this world balances each other out.   For every action there is a positive and negative reaction. When I learned that in science class I did not think that it had that much meaning beside the fact that it would be on a test,But as I view the world around me- Not just look but truly observe- I realize that the mechanics of Newton's Third Law are being proved every second of every day. It's kind of mind blowing to think that something I used three or more years ago would still be relevant in my current life. My curiosity is overwhelming almost. Logically everything that one does in a day someone else is doing the complete opposite but what does that mean? Does it mean that everything I do counts for nothing since it is being countered? Or does it mean that everything I do has a purpose because it is bringing balance? Regardless I'm hoping for the ladder.

So do me a favor and think about it yeah?

The world is so fucked up.
Seriously I found out that the average street pimp makes about $800,000 a year. That's more than a teacher, that's more than a doctor, or a scientist.
I think it's fucked up that we live in a world that puts sex and corruption above education, health, or advances in our society.
Put it this way; Let's say a pimp has ten hoes. Each one of those hoes turns ten tricks a day for fifty dollars a throw. The pimp takes at least half of the profit. Meaning he makes twenty-five dollars a trick. So that means the pimp will make about two hundred and fifty dollars a day on just one girl. Now multiply that by ten. $2,500 a day. That's more than any white collar job makes in a week. Obviously we as human beings need to shape up. When the hell did sex start coming before everything that should matter? Pleasure before necessity? I understand that sex is essential for reproduction and the continuation of mankind. Sex is also healthy for you and such [According to the infamous Dr.Oz] But this isn't healthy sex that these so called "pimps" are selling and profiting so greatly off of. This is pure, corrupt, greedy lust. It's not sex. It's just a simple fuck with someone the customer is probally never going to see again.
And quite frankly;
It digusts me.